Cambridge

 So yesterday we drove to Cambridge. Such an awesome town! Its about an our west of where we are staying. It’s such a photographable city yet photographs do not do it justice. It has really cool shops, pubs, cafes and bakery’s. You’ve heard of “Cambridge University”, but actually Cambridge is a city of universities. Compiling of 31 different colleges, Trinity being the most prestigious. The first college dates back to 1209. We took a punt along the river Cam. A punting chauffeur gave us the history of the city as we strolled. It was really cool. 

Afterwards we went to an old hotel that had an underground lounge. It had nooks and crannies of velvet sofas. Centuries ago only esteemed professors and intellectuals were allowed. A place where brilliant minds like Isaac Newton would go to smoke, drink and talk about ultra intelligent things like how no woman should ever need a university education or how to rid yourself of the pesky Black Plague. 

Then some friends of Tim and Latania that live in the town invite us all over for an awesome dinner. We had a really great time!

 I want to go back to Cambridge straight away!

English County Side

 We arrived at Tim and Latania’s yesterday. Their place is stunning. It’s about an hour and a half Northeast of London. Tim came to pick us up. But before we left London we all got lunch. At one point I asked ‘So, is your house older?’ He says “Not really. Only about 120 years old”. Got it. When we pulled up, it felt exactly like Cameron Diaz in the The Holiday.

This is their huge backyard. It’s crazy, sexy, cool. 

So instead of being myself I had to act like I didn’t care because Art and Angela told us that the English don’t like it when our kinda people (Americans) are overly polite or complementary. Don’t smile or laugh too much. Also, don’t be too dramatic about your likes and dislikes because it’s annoying. Also, here’s a list of “offensive” words we use in our everyday language, don’t say them. Check, check and check. You basically described my personality. COOOOOL! So you can imagine how I’m acting. Weird, awkward and not myself. Not committing to my sentences cuz I’m unsure about EVERYTHING. So when I do try to say something funny, it doesn’t land.

 Also, Art and Angela have British accents here.

 An egg stop in the country. 

Here’s their sweet ride. 

British Museum

 A local brother gave us an awesome tour of the British Museum. I tried to take as much notes as I could. It was packed full of so many gems revealing the Bible’s authenticity that it made your eyes water. There are several Bible tours the brothers give here and this was just one portion of it on Egypt, Babylon and Assyria. 

Tea Time!

 Just when I think things couldn’t get any dumber, Art and Angela arrive. We finally went to a classic English pub called, The Dog and Bell. We got beers, whiskey, fish n chips and the nationally admired dish, mushy peas. Everything was great. Minus the peas. It tastes exactly how it sounds.

On the way home we stopped at a place and got champagne and sticky toffee pudding. Aka, CAKE! 

Then the next day Angela, the girls and I, went and had afternoon tea and “pudding” (CAKE!) at a girly, pink, “instagrammable” cafe. 

They had a menu of mocktails. That, of course, is what the girls preferred. 

       Meanwhile Jared and Art went to, yet another, 18th century pub. Then we all made our way to Harrods. People say “gotta go to Harrods!” Oookay, why? Isn’t it just a fancy department store? We got those. No, no it’s not. It’s so much more. Envision a place where you could go to feel, smell and visually experience exquisite opulence. The building itself, inside and out, is so lavish and palatial that it’s a museum within itself. The stores (obviously) are all designer. There’s a giant department dedicated to skincare. A parfumerie. A department floor for just chocolate! Yeah I know, nothing sounds that out of the ordinary. But it’s how it’s all curated that’s so overwhelming. And my favorite part, the grocery section. Imagine that Saudi princes invested a billion dollars into a Zupans market and put a bar right in the middle of it. And also that Zupans is on steroids. Kinda like that. My only regret from being there is that I was wearing green cargo pants, a jean jacket, BO and a frizzy ponytail. Besides that, it was glorious.      

       Then we went to Eataly. The worlds largest Italian market. Fresh pasta, pizza, cheese, wine, spirits, oils, bread and gelato galore! Had the best pizza I’ve ever had.

TootBus!

It was a hot day and we walked a lot. Saw all the major sites. Big Ben, London Bridge, London Eye, London Tower, Buckingham Palace (which was all closed off because of the Queens Jubilee)

Saw Westminster Abby, Scotland Yard and rode around in a double-decker Tootbus. 

As we were walking across the tower bridge, we glanced over and in the midst of modern skyscrapers and digital billboards sits a huge CASTLE. 

So I says to Jared, “look at that building, that looks butt old. Look it up.” I says. He looks it up. Turns out it’s just your run-of-the-mill dungeon built in 1078. I’ll do the math, that’s over 900 years old! Us New Worlders are like ‘woah!’ So I get to thinkin, I bet where I’m standing, 600 years ago, there was probably some pied piper with his terrible haircut and dumb outfit prancing around with his flute, luring children to that freaky dungeon so they can laugh at the criminals stuck in those pillories, just some typical 15th century amusement. 

We grabbed a beer on a Tanqueray boat. 

Arriving in London

When we landed in Heathrow airport all the families with small children got sent in a fast lane for immigration. It was awesome. Guess there are some perks to bringing the ol’ ball n 2 chainz. Took awhile to get to our place because London is freakin HUGE! 

This is where we are staying. A motor barge that was built in 1957. Nearly the entire boat is made of wood, a lot of it is teak. It’s 8000sqft with 6 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, 2 kitchens and a little library. We’re in the family room that sleeps 4.

The couple that own it are witnesses, the entire staff are witness and only people who rent out rooms are witnesses. The maintenance guy is a brother from Lithuanian. The couple that are the caretakers are from Italy. They all live on the boat. So cool! We haven’t seen the whole place yet cuz I’m scared to walk around for fear I may run into a sweet and pleasant witness. Or have to explain to them where Oregon is since, NO ONE HAS HEARD OF IT. When I finally say, “we’re right above California.” They’re like “Ohhh, yes, California!” So far I see lots of nautical, pillowy reading corners. 

      After taking a nap upon arrival, Jared and I (with 2 chainz) wandered the streets near our place in search for food.

We stumbled across a steakhouse right on the Thames. The girls, since they hadn’t napped like us, could barely walk they were so tired. So as soon as we were seated they passed out. 

After stuffing our faces with an awesome dinner we carried the girls back to the boat around 11pm and passed out.

     So, every morning we get a full breakfast and eat with whoever is on “holiday” here in the dining room. The couple that own the boat happen to be staying here as well for their anniversary. They live in Holland. They made us a great traditional English breakfast this morning. Beans and toast with ham. She also made pancakes for the girls too. Jared was awake all night long so he’s been sleeping all morning. It was just me and the girls. We ate with two couples from England that vacationed here just for the weekend. They were so fun and funny. They actually know the Beadle’s (English couple in our hall) and were telling me crazy stories about them. I was laughing really hard. 

Art and Angela arrive tomorrow. Not sure what we’re doing today but if its noteworthy I’ll update you. Miss you all and love you guys!